Tell children divorce dating
Right before my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, an adult close to their relationship told my dad that he needed to get a divorce.
That "adult" was none other than me, his then-22-year-old daughter.
But I was relieved because I knew they were making a rational, adult decision.By the time they decided to get divorced, my parents had become glorified roommates; they shared a home together but not a life.My freshly grown-up eyes had seen the demise of their marriage unfold in slow-motion for months.Having divorced parents makes you a child of divorce, no matter how old you are.If you're over the age of 18 when your parents split, it also makes you part of a growing group no one actually wants to be part of: adult children of divorce, or ACODs.The demographic has grown significantly enough in recent years to merit a catchy acronym (and corresponding effects on younger children.But ACODs typically have a much less difficult time dealing with divorce, which makes sense: Young children simply don't have the same judgement, maturity or skills to cope with traumatic life events as adults do.For kids whose parents split, being an adult at the time of separation might make it easier to understand and accept the decision, but it comes with its own set of challenges.Unlike a child, who is usually an innocent bystander during the end of their parents' relationship, ACODs are, more often than not, active participants; they're placed in the awkward position of having to provide emotional support for one or both of their parents."When you're a child going through your parents' divorce, your parents put a lot of effort into easing you through the process and making sure you're handling it OK," 26-year-old Jacquelyn*, whose parents separated when she was 18, told once kids become, well, fellow adults.But that can often lead to a blurring of boundaries during more dysfunctional periods, leading parents to overly rely on their grown children for emotional support.