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Married man dating divorcee

.” I will never forget having lunch with a colleague several years ago who had recently wrapped up a painful divorce.

We were talking about re-entering the dating scene, and she was sharing with me some of the things she was looking for in an ideal man.

She wanted someone who was between 45-55 years old, and then listed a few other qualities and traits that were important to her …

I am not interested in dating anyone who has been divorced.” My initial response was one of shock, and I asked, “Why would you want to date a man who has never been married before?

Wouldn’t you wonder why he hadn’t married by age 45 or 55?

” Now, I recognize that is very narrow thinking, but in honesty, that was my first reaction.

What followed was a really great discussion about the perceived pros and cons of dating (or potentially marrying) someone who had never been married before, versus someone who had gone through a divorce.

Was it “better” to have someone who understood what marriage was all about and was familiar with all of the compromises, the peaks and the valleys?

Was it “better” to have someone who may likely already have children?

Was it “better” to have someone who had lived as part of a couple before?

Or, was it “better” to have someone who hadn’t been through the negative parts of marriage and divorce, someone who might not potentially be coming in with lots of baggage and chips on his shoulder?

Would someone who had never been married be able to adjust to sharing his life with someone else?

People are pretty set in their ways, especially by age 50. We didn’t have any answers, but we had a great dialogue about the perceived pros and cons.

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